No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
