some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
