Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
