come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
not ubering you a puppy
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
