he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
