I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
