piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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