Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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