I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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