So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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