she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
