Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
no you cant smoke seaweed
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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