My first STD was from a foam party
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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