Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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