i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
