we're blogging at a bar
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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