he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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