you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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