then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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