My nipple is on Facebook.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
