no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
