Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
