Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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