her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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