I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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