But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
