I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
