How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
