That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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