Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
