You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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