But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
