okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
