So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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