dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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