party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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