yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
