I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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