Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
