VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
