I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I am one with the molecules
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
