the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
