just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
