Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
