OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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