ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize