the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
