It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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