Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
