The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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