5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
