OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
