Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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