I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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