I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
