I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
