he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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