it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
