i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
