Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i wish my penis had a tongue
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
